It never occurred to me that anything might go wrong.

My partner and I had asked all the big questions as we got ready for the birth of our son. We'd prepared ourselves both physically and spiritually for what we expected to be a smooth, beautiful childbirth assisted by our midwife. 

It just never occurred to me that we would need anything besides each other to welcome our child into this world.

Okay, okay, I can hear the knowing chuckling of mothers everywhere. Yes, we should have known better. But we didn't. We were first-timers.

We Adapted to an Unexpected Detour in Our Birth Plan

The day before our son was born, a check-up indicated far less movement in utero than our midwife felt was healthy. Because we knew the baby would be large, she recommended a Cesarean section. 

We were disappointed but decided to trust our midwife’s advice to do exactly what we hoped to avoid. 

But We Didn't Compromise Rooming-in

I didn't want to sacrifice rooming-in with the baby, however, and the hospital had never tried a rooming-in with a C-section family before. My midwife phoned ahead to let them know of our request. The first nurse we spoke with said she felt it was unwise and that my recovery would be hindered. 

We asked my midwife to keep calling. She reached the head nurse for the ward, promised that either my partner or another family member would always be with me, and was given the go-ahead for us to room-in.

From the moment we were admitted to the hospital, we were the knowing subjects of an unusual experiment. One of our nurses was an enthusiastic supporter. Another felt just as strongly that my body would not heal properly if I was under the additional responsibility of caring for my child. Each of us, naysayers and supporters, waited to prove ourselves right.

It Was Not the Quiet Birth We Wanted

On April 22, my son was born in a delivery room crowded with my midwife, the perinatologist performing the surgery, a team from intensive care just in case, the delivery nurses, the recovery nurses, the neonatal nurse, and somewhere in there were my partner and me. Our son weighed 10 pounds 15 ounces and was as healthy as could be. 

Not certain of how to combine C-section and non-separation, the hospital had sent everyone from their own departments into surgery with us. So, what we originally hoped would be a quiet birth had turned into a fabulous, well-attended party, complete with a local radio station playing in the background. 

My partner was able to be with our son while my surgery was completed; he then brought him to my arms where he lay comfortably sleeping as my stitches were tied.

But Rooming-in Was All That We Had Hoped 

From that moment on, our son never left us in the hospital. All the necessary tests were performed in our room. He was bathed, measured, and clothed within my reach. 

He breastfed easily and on demand; I had no engorgement or supply issues. I walked unassisted the morning after his birth. I had little pain or discomfort around my incision, which healed beautifully. 

I listened to my body, ate when I was hungry, walked when I needed movement, and never noticed myself healing because I was too busy attending to my child.

Mothering is a generative process, but it is just as importantly regenerative. It is very difficult to focus on and perpetuate my own pain when I’m admiring my baby. I did not have time to think about whether it hurt, because I had a new child to care for. 

I did not have time to fear mothering, because I had to mother. The overwhelming joy, the pure and incomparable wonder, the love that makes you smile so hard that tears are forced from your eyes overshadowed my discomfort. I don't claim not to have had pain, but I didn't notice it.

I Am at Peace With My Birth Experience

We needed the support of our doctors to welcome our child safely into this world, to overcome the practical limits of my own body, but this experience taught me that, however limited my physical being, my spirit is strong. 

When I look down at my happy, little scar smiling up at me from across my belly, I know that we still kept our promise for a smooth, beautiful childbirth assisted by our midwife.

How do you feel about your childbirth experience? In which ways, did your experience help you to bond with your baby?

#normalizenurturing

Absolutely the greatest contribution I can make toward Earth's stewardship is to raise children who care.

It makes sense to me that raising my children in a caring family environment will grow in them a greater capacity for empathy and compassion not only toward themselves and others but also their communities and world. Children generally care more deeply about what their parents hold and express as family values. To nurture my children's interest in nature, I began early in my parenting to take them outdoors and to share in their curiosity and wonder. 

It's not enough to say we care for the planet: We must live it and model it to our children, and I've learned that this is best done together. Here are some ways I've found to get my whole family out into nature:

• Plant a tree.
• Pick up litter in the park.
• Construct bee, bat, and bird houses.
• Participate in citizen scientist pollinator, bird, and toad counts.
• Watch nature documentaries.
• Visit the local natural history museum.
• Go camping.
• Turn over a log to discover insects underneath.
• Go to the zoo.
• Watch the birds and squirrels.
• Take a walk.
• Go cloud-watching.
• Pick wildflowers.
• Wade in a creek.

What are your favorite activities to do in nature? What is one activity you can share with your child this week? 

#normalizenurturing

I breastfed both of my babies. Once we got the hang of things, it was easy. When they were hungry, or wanted comfort, they nursed. It was simple.

Then I introduced solid foods. The world changed. Feeding my babies with love and respect took on new meaning. Food altogether took on new meaning. Suddenly there was the question of what and how much to offer? Suddenly I could see exactly how much my child did, or didn't, eat. Frequently, I worried.

Thankfully I found a lot of gentle and commonsense wisdom on feeding kids. I realized that, just as at the breast, I could trust my children to set their own pace and schedule with solid foods. As long as I generally offered them healthy food, I could leave the rest to them.

Yet, even after making this realization, I am not as zen about my kids' eating habits as I would like to be. Sometimes when they're being really picky, I still sweat it. Sometimes they chafe against the healthy options presented. 

I decided that presenting healthy options wasn't enough. I wanted to get them involved in the food they eat. After all, I am raising people who will hopefully feed themselves one day.

I want them to know where their food comes from. I want them to appreciate the impact of their choices on their own health and the health of the planet. I want them to have basic food preparation skills. I think there are steps I can take now that will help.

I involve my children in their meal times in a few ways:

• They help me prepare meals - This doesn't always go smoothly, but most of the time, I can find tasks that are age-appropriate and fun. Sticking fruit on skewers, stirring, and pouring are three favorite food prep activities for my preschoolers.
• We work in the garden together - No food tastes better than the food you've picked fresh yourself. Growing your own fruit and veggies provides the ideal window into where food actually comes from.
• We visit farmers markets and buy fresh, local, whole foods - I chat with the growers, sample heirloom tomatoes, and give my kids a window into a world where food doesn't come in boxes with cartoon characters on the front.
• We visit farms - Our home is in the suburbs, so my kids don't get to see chickens or cows in their daily life. By heading out to the country, they can see where their milk and eggs come from and how the animals live.

By following my children's own hunger and thirst cues, I am teaching them that I love and respect them. By providing them with healthy options, I am trying to ensure that they eat a nutritious and well-balanced diet. By involving my children in the food we eat, I'm teaching them that there is a whole lot of backstory to every bite they take. I hope that by knowing that backstory, they will come to appreciate their food much more.

How do you involve your children in their food?

#normalizenurturing