One of the many reasons parents find their way to Nurturings is that they're seeking a community, and Nurturings can connect them to local parenting groups. As a parent, I can relate: I enjoy and have come to rely on the parental support of like-minded individuals who may be going through the same joys and challenges or seeking guidance from others who have been there in the past. 

While social media has made constant and instantaneous connection easier, there is nothing quite like going to a face-to-face meeting and interacting with other parents and their children in real time. It is so much more personal than an online encounter.

With April being Month of the Military Child, I want to take a moment to talk about how important a sense of community can be to military families and how much of a difference "finding your village" can make. 

It is not uncommon for military families to move every year or two and have every child born in a different state or even a different country! As a military spouse, one of the first things I do when I find out that we are moving again or going somewhere for a lengthy training is to look for similar-minded parents' groups in the new location. These groups often become our lifeline; they are where we find an extension of our village, which can make transitioning to our new address easier.

However, sometimes it can be hard to break into these groups since everyone in the group knows each other and has been friends for a while. Especially for families who have recently had their first child, or who have just started to find their groove for leaving the house after a spouse is deployed, the support and comfort to be found in a parents' group or informal meetup can make a huge difference in the lives of the parents and children. I know, and love, that everyone is parenting their children in their own way but having a parents' group means having a common thread with other families to help us create a safe, still space when it seems that our world is constantly in motion.

There are two big move cycles every year in the military, during which many families are moved to new stations; the summer cycle is coming soon. Having a village to belong to is one of the most vital "survival tactics" of being a military family.

I encourage parents' group organizers to outreach to any military installations they may have locally. If you see parents, military or not, who look like they may benefit from a support system like what is offered through your group, be the one to invite them to your next meeting. They may not have found you yet or might not have known exactly what they were looking for. Whether you are someone who already has a village or is trying to create one, don't be afraid to say "hi" to the new mom with her baby at the grocery store or at the library story hour. The benefits, to all, are priceless.

Who is someone you could reach out to about meeting up at the park for a playdate and parent-to-parent conversation?

#normalizenurturing

I think we have a mythology around creativity that is very destructive. We tend to believe that only a few people are genuinely creative, that they are born knowing they are creative and that they go through life with that creative spark undimmed.

We need a new mythology around creativity, one that says we are all creative, we all have a divine spark within us, we all have the capacity to tap into our originality, and we all have gifts whether we recognize them or not.

I think that when we say we're bored, what we're doing is actually a manipulation. We are saying, "Fix it for me." If you resist the impulse to meddle and instead say to your child, "I'm sure you can figure out what you want to do next," then it imparts to the child a belief in their own resiliency and their own originality. 

If you suggest that together you spend an hour without any screens, and you put your own phone aside and don't go near your computer, then you find yourself coming up with new ideas. 

In my book, The Artist's Way for Parents, I gave the example of an editor who felt he had no time to read his favorite classics, because he was so busy being a parent. He loved reading, so I suggested he read for 15 minutes a day. He said he didn't have 15 minutes, so I asked him to just try. 

He tried reading a book that he loved, Moby Dick, and his son noticed he was reading and asked him about it. They began to have a conversation about the book. About a week later, he found his son sitting in his reading chair with a book. When the father asked about the book, the son said, "Oh, Dad, it's another book about a whale: Pinocchio!"

Children learn from what they see us doing. They learn when they see us valuing ourselves.

When can you set aside 15 minutes of today for something you love to do? What is something that both you and your child enjoy doing?

#normalizenurturing 

(Editor's note: This is an excerpt from an interview with the author; read the original article in its entirety here.)

Our job as parents is to appreciate the process that our children go through rather than trying to correct it into a more rigid form. For example, if you have a child who draws a green pony, you say, "Oh, a green pony! That's wonderful," instead of telling the child that ponies aren't green.

Perfectionism is probably the biggest creativity block I run across. When we speak of perfection, we actually are reaching for an unattainable goal, because as human beings, we aren't perfect. If we look to perfection to judge our work by, we will always fall short, so it's very important to model that it's OK to be imperfect and that there are such things as rough drafts. 

For children to realize that practicing imperfection over and over again is moving a little bit at a time toward an ideal, is a much kinder way to go than demanding that the first job or the first attempt be perfect. That can stop a child's or anyone's creativity in its tracks.

What is one thing you do well in how you are raising your child? How can you reframe your goals to be able to celebrate your mini-milestones?

#normalizenurturing

(Editor's note: This is an excerpt from an interview with the author; read the original article in its entirety here.)